


A Bouquet of Pink Carnations

by quornchickennugget



Series: YakuLev Week 2016 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Death, Do Not Expect Any Happy Endings, Dumbledore Quotes, Flowers, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mentions of alcoholism, Rated M for Themes, Sadness, Sleep, Suicide, The Rendezvous, Victorian Flower Language, You Will Probs Cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-08 23:53:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7778512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quornchickennugget/pseuds/quornchickennugget
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A gloxinia in his pocket; a yellow tulip at his feet; a dark pink rose in his right hand; viscaria flowers in his left; orange blossom twining up his legs; arbutus flowers in his buttonhole; and a single pink carnation tucked behind his left ear.</p><p>OR</p><p>After losing his sister in a car accident Lev sleeps to escape his new, bland reality. One night, he meets a man living in the land of his dreams called Morisuke who is fond of speaking through flowers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bouquet of Pink Carnations

**Author's Note:**

> So the prompts were Sleep and Alternate Universe and I the first thing I thought of was this.  
> I really wanted to do something nice and fluffy after the abomination that was My Candle and Your Flame but I come out with this even worse abomination. Oops. I also apologise for how badly this is written, it's really rushed but I just wanted to get it done!
> 
> I have no idea how the whole flower language thing came about, the video I based this on has a big theme of white lilies so I guess this stems (haha punny!) from that. 
> 
> If you don't know what a flower means, there's a little guide in the end notes that should help you out :)

**[Based on this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9Ay8j_fkgk) // [What I listened to whilst writing.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpXHdegMTtw)**

 

With every toll of the funeral bells, the colour drained out of Haiba Lev's life. As he carried his sister Alisa's coffin between rows of pews, his family, friends, neighbours watched with tear-filled eyes. He listened to his parents speak of how wonderful she was, how beautiful she was. Lev didn't need to listen; he already knew. He knew how a single smile could resolve a fight; he knew how her endless kindness branched out to every little thing; he knew about her love for flowers, and how she'd teach him the meanings of every one.

Once the service ended, the guests crowded round her pure white coffin; wishing her well for the next life. As if there was one. Once most mourners had gone, Lev himself rose out of his seat and approached the altar where she lay. His final gift ready in his hands. The crowd parted like the red sea when he came close. He looked down at her, and she was just as beautiful as he had remembered with a small smile on her face and her porcelain cheeks tinted pink. Her eyes were closed, and oh what Lev would give to see those brilliant green eyes again. Her silver hair fanned around her, caressing the white lily petals and sweet peas lining her coffin. Her hands were gently clasped on her chest, and they were holding a bouquet of dark crimson roses with a single tea rose in the centre. Ever so gently, Lev moved her hair behind her left ear - just like she used to do - and tucked a single pink carnation in between the strands of moonlight. 

 _"Promise we'll always be together, Nee-chan!"  
_ _"Of course, Lyovochka. Forever and ever."_

 

It had been two years since then. Unable to cope with the grief, Lev's parents decided to move far away from Sapporo to Tokyo. They took up drinking. Lev had started high school surrounded by strangers. In his previous neighborhood, he was known for his loud nature and his bright smiles and his bad jokes; here, Lev wasn't even known, and the only people who saw him decided to make his life hell. He tried to stay quiet, tried to blend in with the crowds. They noticed him, they singled him out, but they left him alone. Lev was left to look in on everyone else. It was okay, though. Lev was used to it by now.

Heading home after yet another day, Lev unlocked the door to find his parents in the living room surrounded by many bottles of spirits; laughing to escape from their crippling and perpetual anguish. It didn't sound like such a bad idea to Lev. He got up to his room and, not bothering to do his homework or change, flopped down on his bed and fell asleep.

* * *

 Lev's eyes opened to nothing but grey mist as far as he could see. He was sitting on nothingness, on open air. His legs were pulled up to his chest, and he was crying. He didn't know why; he hadn't cried since Alisa's funeral.

Suddenly, he felt a presence at his back. Lev looked behind him, tears still falling from his eyes; a boy was standing there in a pristine black tailcoat, hand outstretched. His hair was short and mousy-brown and his eyes were the colour of chocolate. His porcelain cheeks were tinted pink and his lips were warm and rosy. They were the first colours Lev had seen in a while, and words could not describe how beautiful they were; how beautiful he was. The boy introduced himself as Morisuke. Lev wiped away his tears; he grabbed Morisuke's hand, and everything went white. 

Lev was standing in a huge hall lined with stained glass windows with floral patterns. He was stood up to his knees in white lily petals, dotted with the occasional sweet pea. Around him hung roses: dark crimson and tea. Lev was surrounded by Alisa's funeral flowers. However, the flowers weren't like they were before. Before, they were monochrome - hollow. Here, they were vibrant and full of life. The dyed glass of the windows illuminated them with every colour of the rainbow. It was just like when he had seen them with Alisa; it was as if they were her very being.  
"It's pretty here, right?" Lev heard a voice from below. He looked to the space just below his shoulder to see Morisuke standing there, hand still joined with his. He was an awful lot shorter than Lev had perceived. He giggled at this - his first laugh in two years.  
"What's so funny?" Morisuke asked, a caramel eyebrow raised.  
Lev grinned, and oh how he'd missed smiling, "It's just you're much shorter than I thought you were."  
Lev promptly received a kick to the back of his knees, making him double over.  
Morisuke snarled. "If we're gonna get along here, I'd suggest you don't mention my height." Lev looked down at the floor in apology and Morisuke's anger dissipated almost immediately. He rejoined his hand with Lev's (they had disconnected during the kick) and clicked the fingers that weren't attatched to Lev's own. Suddenly, Lev was surrounded by bright white light. When he could see again, the colours were even brighter than before; he could see every tone of Morisuke's hair, every fleck of brown in his eyes and every pigment of his skin. When Lev looked down, he was dressed in a pristine black suit not dissimilar to Morisuke's.   
"It suits you." Morisuke said with a grin. "Now then, we'd better get going; we've only got so much time. I'll show you around!"

Before Lev could ask anything, Morisuke had started running and Lev went along with him. There were flowers as far as the eye could see, arranging themselves into a landscape complete with hills and streams. Morisuke took Lev up the tallest of the hills he could see, and they stopped at the top with their hands still joined. At the very crest of the hill was a black door with a semi-circular stained-glass window portraying a pink carnation above it.  
Morisuke looked up at Lev, and Lev looked right back at him only to be reminded of how radiant he was. "This whole world is up to your imagination; it may be like this tomorrow, it may not. It depends on how you're feeling. These are your dreams, after all."  
"Does this mean that you're a figment of my imagination too?" Lev asked,  
"Of course I am." Morisuke replied with a small smile, "But as a great man once said: even though I am in your head, it doesn't mean that I'm not real."  
Lev smiled again, a real smile; warm and reaching both his ears. Morisuke's cheeks reddened, and he quickly turned away to gesture at the door.  
"When our time here is up," He explained, "That is, when you have to wake up in the real world: you go through here."  
"Do I have to?" Lev said, "I'd rather stay here. With you."  
Even from the back, Lev could tell that Morisuke's ears had turned red. "Yeah well, you have to go back now." Lev's face fell. Morisuke turned back around and gave Lev's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry, You'll see me again tomorrow. Here, I'll give you a present in the meantime."  
Morisuke grabbed Lev by the shoulder and brought him down before putting something in his breast pocket.  
"Now go, it'll be okay." He said, ruffling Lev's hair. Lev headed towards the door and opened it to find nothing but a void. He turned back to look at Morisuke once more to see that he was gesturing for him to go, still red-faced and smiling. Lev reached into his pocket and pulled out Morisuke's present: a gloxinia flower, seemingly buzzing with energy. Holding the flower gently, Lev went through the door, letting his vision fade to black as it closed with a soft  _click_.

* * *

Lev's room was a disaster zone. With the exception of his bedside table (which held a lamp, his phone, and a photograph of Alisa) everything was chaos. However, as he woke up the morning after meeting Morisuke, everything seemed calm. Getting up and dressed, Lev carried out his daily routine as per usual. He left the house without saying a word (his parents were at work despite their grief and drinking problems) and walked to school. The skies were grey, and the grey buildings that hung over the grey streets formed a maze that he now knew all to well. He got to school early, trying to avoid the crowds. As he went to his locker, he saw some students milling about and laughing. He recognised them as the volleyball team. Lev thought that maybe, in another life, he could play volleyball. He was tall, and that would give him an advantage. It looked like a good way to make friends, though nowadays Lev didn't really have much interest in trying anymore.

Class was boring, as per usual. Lev sat in his middle-back seat and observed whilst his classmates chattered animatedly with so much colour. It reminded Lev of Morisuke. 

When Lev returned home that night, he grabbed a packet of crisps and headed straight for his room whilst eating. He changed, got into bed, and hoped he would see Morisuke again.

* * *

 

When Lev's eyes opened, he wasn't in the chamber from last night, but in what seemed to be the ocean. He was standing in water, yet his movement was unrestricted and he could breathe and he felt bone dry.  
"It's pretty cool, huh?" A voice came from behind. Lev turned to see none other than Morisuke himself, a yellow tulip in hand, which was currently extended towards him. "For you."  
Lev took a hold of the flower, and found that their hands touched for slightly longer than necessary; it almost seemed as if Morisuke was giving a piece of himself alongside the flower. The petals were vibrant and they made Lev feel warm inside, as if he were melting. Lev could do nothing but grin.  
"You snuck up on me." He said, "I get that you're short, but you could always be a little more present."  
"You  _little--"  
_ "Sorry! Sorry!" Lev got himself kicked again, but he didn't mind. The whole time, the both of them were smiling and illuminating the patch of sea they stood in. They made the water bluer and clearer and more beautiful than anything Lev had seen for a long time.  _Perhaps with the exception of my companion here._

Together, holding hands, the two of them spent the night watching tropical fish of every colour of the rainbow before Lev had to go through the door.

* * *

Lev woke up with that same sunshine grin from the previous night. He could practically visualise the tulip in one hand and Morisuke's in the other. He could still see the sharp lines of his face and his big brown eyes and the way he felt like he was walking on air even though he was at the bottom of the sea. It felt almost as if everything was okay again, like Alisa wasn't gone and he was in Sapporo and his life was normal. Reluctantly getting up, Lev headed to school with a small smile on his face. The teacher talked, but all he could think of was  _Morisuke, Morisuke, Morisuke_.

He practically ran home from school that night, not even bothering to eat or change when he got home as he leaped onto his bed and shut his eyes.

* * *

That night, the two were sharing ice cream in some obscure space stained candyfloss pink. Lev's was bubblegum flavour, pink and yellow and blue swirling together and mingling to create the sweetness on his tongue. Morisuke's was espresso. The thought of that made Lev grin.  
"Hey Morisuke?" Lev asked with a smirk.  
"What?" It seemed as if Morisuke was already aware that Lev was up to something.  
"Did you get espresso because it's like you?" His mischievous grin stretched right across his face, "You know, small and bitte-- OW!" Lev doubled over again as he received a sharp kick to his calves. Somehow, in the chaos, he'd managed to get a large lump of ice cream on his nose. Morisuke laughed at this.  
"You have ice cream on your nose." He pointed out with a snicker, but then his voice went low. "I can help you get it off."  
Lev's face had never been redder as Morisuke grabbed him by the collar and planted a gentle kiss to his nose, only to grimace as he tasted the ice cream.  
"This is way too sweet. How can you eat that crap?"  
Lev merely laughed, which made Morisuke smile again. As he did so, he pulled a bouquet of dark pink roses from behind his back.  
"For being here with me, and for making me as happy as I am right now." He said with a shrug, and Lev lit up like a firework show.

As he went through the door, Lev had completely forgotten about the numbness and grief that was the real world.

* * *

After next day of Lev running home from school and diving straight on to his bed, he was met by a lake in the middle of a wood's clearing with a circular waterfall in the centre and large blobs of water floating about. Dandelion seeds danced gently in the wind. There was a song playing in the background, gentle and swaying, almost like a lullaby. But the most important part was there, right in front of him, as Morisuke stood looking even more pristine than usual with a cluster of viscaria flowers. Tucking them into his buttonhole, Lev wrapped one arm around Morisuke's waist and took his hand with the other. As the two danced, Lev felt as if he'd been here before. As Morisuke went through each step with him, holding him tight, gazing into his eyes; he didn't want anything more than what he had right there.  
  
"You're beautiful." Morisuke whispered, and Lev believed him. 

* * *

Lev was slowly coming back to himself. Each night brought a new flower, a new colour, back into Lev's world. He started smiling more around school, even though people noticed. He started contributing in class, even though people thought he was a nerd. So long as he had Morisuke there every night, he didn't care. He missed Alisa, and he still loved her, but it seemed as if the pain was more bearable. He had Morisuke to tell him that it wasn't his fault, that he didn't know what would happen if Alisa went to go buy some milk instead of him. Morisuke said that nobody knew that car was coming round the corner so fast. Morisuke said that Lev wasn't selfish that night. Morisuke said that Lev was okay, and that Alisa would be proud of him and that he'd never lie. Lev believed every word. His parents were a different matter, but Lev was optimistic and thought that things would get better in time. One day, after school, he was overjoyed to hear that somebody actually wanted to talk to him on the rooftop!

Little did he know that they'd just call him a freak.

Coming home that night with a bruised cheek, Lev was almost in tears of joy at the prospect of seeing Morisuke again. He knew that Morisuke would listen, and then make him forget. Doing as he usually did, Lev got changed and shut his eyes to sleep. But sleep didn't come. He waited one hour, two, yet nothing could put his body at rest. Now Lev was worried.  _I need to see Morisuke!_ Desperate, he crept down the stairs past his parents who were passed out on the sofa. Heading into the kitchen, he opened the medicine cupboard and pulled out a bottle of sleeping pills. Once back in his room, he took one and closed his eyes.

* * *

 

"Sorry I'm late!" Lev cried, "I couldn't get to sleep."  
Morisuke merely smiled, holding a group of orange blossoms as he stood next to an incredibly large cat with yellow and black fur.  
"This is Kenma!" He said in lieu of a greeting, "Jump on!"

 _Another night, another pill._ Lev fell asleep at the kitchen table.

 

 

And suddenly he was kissing Morisuke under an endless sky of stars, arbutus flowers singing from their joint, clasped hands.

_Another night, another pill..._

It continued like this until Lev fell asleep in class. The teacher noticed him and saw the little bottle in his open bag. She sent him to the head's office and the head sent him home, telling his parents about what had occurred. Once he was gone, Lev tried to explain what was happening only to receive a slap on the face from his mother.  
"You're a failure, Lev! Why wasn't it you instead of Alisa!"

And the colour drained out of Lev's life again. _Why wasn't it me instead of Alisa?_ He was alone, and nobody wanted him.  _Morisuke wants you._ There was no escape.  _Morisuke is there._ Lev had become so reliant on Morisuke, despite his company only being temporary. And there was no way of making it otherwise.

_There is a way..._

That night, Lev took every last pill in that bottle.

* * *

 

When Lev opened his eyes, he was back in the chamber from the first night. He saw Morisuke and ran straight into his arms, but Morisuke looked upset.  
"What have you done, Lev?"  
Lev looked at him confused. Morisuke gestured at the door, and watched in pure horror as it shattered to pieces.  
Lev was elated. He could finally be with Morisuke forever. He didn't have to worry about his regret. He could belong and feel loved for all eternity. Right?  
  
Morisuke looked aghast. "You shouldn't have done that." Tears began falling from his eyes.  
"What do you mean?" He replied, his smile fading, "Now we can be together forever!"  
Morisuke shook his head. "We can't." And his tears were falling thick and fast, "And now there's no time at all."  
Grabbing Lev's collar, he pulled him down into one last, sweet kiss. He poured every ounce of love in his heart into Lev's lips. He cupped Lev's cheeks in his hands, and looked into his eyes. Lev could see love in those dark chocolate galaxies, but noticed pain turning them red.  
"I love you, Lev." Morisuke whispered through sobs, "I love you so much." And Morisuke was changing, consumed by blackness. The colour drained from the stained glass windows and everything turned to black mist with the exception of the funeral flowers. As Lev stood knee deep in lily petals, he looked up afraid to see not Morisuke but a monster. A vast, black cloaked being with an iron skull for a head and icy, razor-sharp claws.

Lev's mouth was dry, the being's claws were outstretched, too close to his face. Lev shut his eyes and readied himself only to feel his hair being tucked behind his left ear. His eyes shot open just as quickly as they closed to see the monster tuck a single pink carnation into the moonlight strands. To see the monster cry. Lev knew he had seen those tears but a minute earlier.

Lev walked into the monster's embrace and everything went black.

* * *

 

The funeral bells tolled again far too soon. Old friends and family from Sapporo came to pay respects to too many of the Haiba children. Lev's parents weren't even able to speak in the service because  _their babies were gone_ and it was all their fault. Lev's grandmother had taken their place, and had talked about the sunshine in his smile and how thankful she was that he had made her as happy as she had been. She talked about memories she had with the Haiba siblings, how she taught them how to dance and took them to woodlands to learn about lakes and trees and flowers.

As the whole room seemed to weep: nobody noticed as the boy with mousy brown hair and chocolate eyes; the boy who was a third year in Lev's high school; the boy who had watched from the sides and fallen in love, wishing he could be a part of Lev's life, wishing he could have saved him.

Nobody noticed as Yaku Morisuke approached the coffin and tucked a single pink carnation behind his left ear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> What each flower mentioned means:  
> \- Dark Crimson Roses mean mourning.  
> \- Tea Roses mean "I'll remember" or "Always"  
> \- White Lilies mean death, virginity, purity, majesty, or "It's heavenly to be with you."  
> \- Sweet Peas mean "Good-bye", departure, blissful pleasure or "Thank You for a Lovely Time."  
> \- Gloxinias mean love at first sight.  
> \- Yellow Tulips mean "There's sunshine in your smile"  
> \- Dark Pink Roses mean thankfulness.  
> \- Viscarias mean "Will you dance with me?"  
> \- Orange Blossoms mean innocence and eternal love.  
> \- Arbutus flowers mean "Only thee I love."  
> \- Pink Carnations mean "I'll never forget you".
> 
> Thank you for reading that trainwreck! Hit me up on Tumblr to scream about these dorks: shibayamasou


End file.
